lauren's blog.

life's tough, get a helmet

on my way to work yesterday i looked in my rearview mirror to see a motorcylicst man on my ass, wearing no helmet. there’s one thing i hate more than motorcycles, and thats the douchebags who ride them with no helmet on.

so i put my windshield-washer fluid on full blast for a few seconds.

whatever moves you

"home" sweet home

i spent all weekend visiting friends and my mom in my hometown. after living in new britain for almost a year and going back home rarely, i really noticed how fucking small this town is. for real, blink and you miss it. i also noticed how much of a country girl i’m not anymore. in high school i used to be able to do 60 on backroads in my 98 dodge neon with no problem and no fears. now? now i do 30 on backroads, clutching to my steering wheel bracing for every pothole (which appear every 2 feet) while i am also a moving deer target. aparently the deer have gotten pretty out of control back in my hometown, because every familiar face i had small talk with was sure to include “watch out for deer, especially at night. i saw 17 today already.” so you can imagine my posture and expression as i drove past 3 cornfields on the way back from the movies sunday night.

saturday i spent the day at the beach with my mom and then made dinner with her when we got home. then, the girls and i went to a small house party for some drinks. sunday i went to the beach with one of my best friends, kelly, all day and then went out to dinner and saw SEX AND THE CITY! sunday was my favorite day. we had so much fun together. yesterday i went to the beach again, then had to drive back to new britain to meet my boyfriend home in time from his return from Canada. 

this is the first trip back home that i was actually glad to be there the entire time, and was even a little sad to be leaving. i’ve established a new life, my own life, for myself up here in new britain and i love everything about it. but i think i just miss how simple things are back home and how it all represents a time before life became different…expensive, grown up. while i was there this weekend i just wanted to wrap my arms around the whole town and give it a huge hug. for a long time i have refused to refer to my hometown as simply just “home” because i don’t live there anymore and keep in touch with only a few friends who still do. but spending the weekend there, at the beaches i’ve been going to all my life and driving down familiar pothole-infested backroads, i realized it still is my home because there is a piece of my heart there. and afterall, “Home is where the Heart is.”

its there with my best friend and some family. it’s in norwich with my mom. it’s in newport, RI with my aunt. it’s in new london with kelly. it’s in florida with my grandparents. it’s here, in new britain, with my boyfriend and college life. and its soon to be in my new apartment that i’ll be moving into august 1st!

know any good books?

the only time i have to read for fun is during summer break. unfortunately i’m not one of those college kids who has such a large brain they can fit both scholastic text and leisurely text in the same place all at once. school has only been out for a little more than 2 weeks and i’ve already read one book. because i have a serious problem.

i bought a book tuesday morning at around 11 a.m., and i finished it this morning at around the same time. 36 chapters! gone! now what hell am i gonna do? i’m currently living at my boyfriends while the apartment-hunt continues and he works monday-friday days and i work monday-friday nights. so that leaves me to find things to do myself, by myself, and trying not to spend a lot of money (like shopping out of boredom, or eating out of boredom, or driving around aimlessly.)

and the worst part is, the book was $25. i wish i could exchange it or return it or something? but that’s what happens when i read a book i really like. just call me Speed-Reader.

time capsule

i had been using my dads new wife’s laptop for almost a year and a half when he asked for it back last week. he got layed off from his job and had been using a company laptop but they asked for it back when he got the boot. so, since he was taking back my adopted laptop, i had to return to the one i got as a graduation gift my senior year of high school. i had stopped using it because the monitor just went dim and then completely black one day while i was working on a paper (seriously). i called dell to see how much it would cost me for them to replace my monitor and they told me it would cost NOTHING! apparently i was still covered by some warranty.

i’m not gonna lie, i had gotten used to the beautiful gateway laptop and wasn’t thrilled about getting reaquainted with my used DELL Inspiron 600m. i was pretty positive i had left it with a few thousand viruses and way too many programs that i had accidently downloaded. but after the dell guy came today and fixed my baby up, i was surprisingly happy to see the horrible picture of me and my friend from 2 years ago on the desktop! i had forgotten about all the old pictures and old songs and old papers from my last summer after highschool and first year of college. i knew they were old, i just didnt realize how BAD they all were.

the pictures? wow, lauren. you really let yourself go for a brief moment. not to mention some pictures of an old boyfriend who was horrible to me.

the songs? i’m ashamed of my itunes library from 2 years ago. there are a few songs i can’t believe i had forgotten about, but for the most part its all garbage. and filled with songs that reminded me of that same shitty boyfriend.

its weird to actually see how much i have changed in the past 3 years. it’s like time & technology stopped in my little dell laptop, but so much had been going on while it was hibernating. i’m not sad anymore about using my old laptop. i was sick of using one that wasn’t mine and was probably being held against me, and plus i just deleted all the bad songs, pictures, and old papers so it’s like its brand new : )

still kickin'

hello whoever! (whomever? whatever)

just letting you know that i’m not dead. i have no computer right now and have been busy working and waiting to move into my new place. i’ll write more when i can.

enjoy the sun!

pseudo-serving: part 2

dear ruby tuesday customer,

i don’t suck at my job. i know for a fact that i am very attentive to your needs. i make a point at getting you refills before you even get the chance to stop chomping on our disgustingly, fat-filled “always fresh” burgers. i smile when i speak to you and laugh at your lame jokes. you say: ‘more napkins’, i bring you way more than you need. you say: ‘this food is cold’, i say ‘our cooks are mexican’. you say: ‘jump!’ i do so with my all-black ruby tuesday attire and black apron that is way too big for me on.

leaving me a $2.42 tip on a $45.00 bill is not ok.

especially when you aren’t black.

with love,

Lauren

you know how it goes...

The Name Certainly Fits

lolliblog:

 

            I never liked soap operas. Not only is the acting terrible, I find myself in a state of constant anxiety, waiting for the actors to mess up. Also, since I don’t know any of the plot lines or characters and the stories are years (sometimes decades) old, I figure that even if I wanted to start watching one, that ship has long since sailed.

             I was looking for The Weather Channel earlier today when I stumbled upon a soap opera. I don’t know which one it was but I can tell you it had an actress with long red hair. She was talking to an actor who looked like Alec Baldwin and sounded like Joe Pesci. His character’s name was Angelo.

 Redhead: What have you heard, Angelo? My father wouldn’t hurt Patch, would he?

Angelo: (Looking nervous) Not as far as I know.

Redhead: Are you sure? I know he thinks it’s all Patch’s fault. You would tell me if you knew anything, right?

Angelo: (Pause) Sure.(Longer pause, as he looks furtively about) Sure I would.

Redhead: I knew I could count on you. Want to grab something to eat?

 

            Whoa!  This was something a child raised by wolves could follow. I had only been watching for forty-five seconds, but I could tell you for certain that Angelo is lying, Patch is in big trouble, and the redhead suffers from both an inability to read people and a pathetically limited attention span. Cut to the next scene, in a dark alley. A shadowy figure hides behind a barrel, aiming a rifle. The music builds ominously as a man saunters in. Slowly, the man turns to face the camera. 

            He wears a patch over his left eye.

             Off-camera, we hear the redhead scream: “Patch!”

            In this moment, I realized I was not giving feral children nearly enough credit.

     

it’s like jake’s mom writes everything i’ve ever thought or something