lauren's blog.

going to see this beautiful human being perform saturday with my...

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:21:51 -0400

going to see this beautiful human being perform saturday with my sister! i can’t wait

"At the heart of it all That innermost, your fiery core There’s an amassing armor It’s..."

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:53:20 -0400

“At the heart of it all
That innermost, your fiery core
There’s an amassing armor
It’s building you into a bore
Life’s a match in a gas tank
Don’t ever mourn the ebbing tide
Just dance on fire and enjoy the ride”

- incubus

this time.

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 13:03:00 -0400

ever see the movie ‘A lot like Love’? I need an Oliver.

i’m single again and it feels different this time. this time i’m 20, almost 21. and this time, i’m moving into my first apartment. this time, i know that this is the time of my life to figure out who i am and what i want. sometimes what i want is to find myself in someone else, but most of the time, for right now, that is the very last thing on my wish-list.

are human beings supposed to want to find themselves in someone else? shouldn’t we be able to surive on our own and be really, 100% content?

wtf?

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:46:28 -0400

i don’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.

but i’m definitely confused.

love, shlove.

Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:11:21 -0400

is it bad to be 20 and cynical about love? or is that smart.

my newest tattoo. i’m so proud of it.

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 23:26:38 -0400

my newest tattoo. i’m so proud of it.

Roaches

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:04:47 -0400

jakehurwitz:

It’s hard for me to write this. I think I have a roach problem. They’re not crawling all over the place or anything, in fact I’ve only seen two since I moved in on May 12th. But in a way, this is worse. It seems like they only come out every once in a while just to instill the fear in me that they exist.

I saw the first cockroach the day after I moved in. My stuff was still unpacked, and was scattered all over the place. It was early in the morning and I was laying on my bed when I saw an enormous roach scurrying across the floor. I froze. Terrified, I watched it crawl under my refrigerator. I put my head back in defeat. I had moved into a cockroach infested apartment. I couldn’t help but imagine a huge colony of insects running around behind my kitchen appliances, plotting how they were going to crawl into my mouth while I slept. I was still thinking about this when the cockroach reemerged and slowly crawled toward my nightstand. I leapt up, I got a huge roll of paper towels and I silently crept toward the bug. It was so big, and I really didn’t want to have to feel it crush in my hands, so I decided to try to trap it in the paper towel and throw it out the window. That didn’t work. The cockroach freaked out, I freaked out, I had to kill it. I didn’t want to. It just happened.

At first I was sure that there were tons of cockroach witnesses. Who saw me kill their brother or their friend or whoever he was. I felt like they were plotting revenge. Every night I got home I was scared to turn on the lights because I thought I’d just see my floor covered in cockroaches. Opening closets was hard to do without bracing myself. But eventually I started to rationalize, that cockroach must have come into my apartment by accident. That’s why he crossed the floor in broad daylight, that’s why he didn’t stay behind the fridge, that’s why he got so scared when I tried to help him. I finally started feeling comfortable in my place. After almost 2 months, I was confident. Then there was yesterday.

The cockroach I saw yesterday wasn’t any bigger than the first one. But he was on the toilet seat. To me, thinking that cockroaches are coming out of my toilet is pretty much the worst thing that can happen. I killed this one without mercy, I flushed the toilet and pushed him in. I did feel bad, but I’m operating out of fear, not moral code. So now I’m stuck. Do I get roach traps? I’m afraid that will just attract more. Do I call my landlord? I bet he’d set set up traps. Do I start sleeping with protective netting? Where do they sell that?

In a way this whole thing makes me feel like a true New Yorker. Not just because of this problem so many of us share. But because I know that this means I have to harden as a person. I’m a 6 foot tall human being. And even the biggest cockroach I’ve seen isn’t more than a few inches long. I am smarter. I am faster. I have paper towels. I have a toilet that I can flush. I don’t necessarily want to say “Bring it on.” But if these cockroaches want to keep showing up one at a time every other month. I’m ready.

i’m really glad you’re tumbling more text posts!

+1

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 13:31:34 -0400

add Debbie Matenopolous to the list of celebrities i wish would fall off the face of the earth.

have a good day : )

limbo

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:58:16 -0400

i need a change.

life is NOT worth losing

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:25:45 -0400

i can’t believe my last post on saturday morning was a quote from George Carlin, and my post today is about him passing away. i’m so sad :(

R.I.P, my favorite comedian.

"I’m a rude dude but I’m the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock;..."

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 22:17:59 -0400

“I’m a rude dude but I’m the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow; I go with the flow; I ride with the tide; I got glide in my stride; driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunchtime is crunchtime. I’m hanging in, there ain’t no doubt, and I’m hanging tough, over and out.”

- george carlin

life's tough, get a helmet

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:53:52 -0400

on my way to work yesterday i looked in my rearview mirror to see a motorcylicst man on my ass, wearing no helmet. there’s one thing i hate more than motorcycles, and thats the douchebags who ride them with no helmet on.

so i put my windshield-washer fluid on full blast for a few seconds.

whatever moves you

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 09:30:49 -0400

i recentely re-joined the gym this past week out of sheer boredom. i always thought someones gym playlist should consist of either bump-and-grinding club songs or ridiculously loud hard metal songs to get them motivated and enjoy their time of physical fitness. but after being apart of the gym world on and off for a couple of years, i’ve finally figured it out. for me, the songs just have to be ones i really really like. i came to this realization as i was on the treadmill to coldplay’s new CD yesterday.

"home" sweet home

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 10:05:00 -0400

i spent all weekend visiting friends and my mom in my hometown. after living in new britain for almost a year and going back home rarely, i really noticed how fucking small this town is. for real, blink and you miss it. i also noticed how much of a country girl i’m not anymore. in high school i used to be able to do 60 on backroads in my 98 dodge neon with no problem and no fears. now? now i do 30 on backroads, clutching to my steering wheel bracing for every pothole (which appear every 2 feet) while i am also a moving deer target. aparently the deer have gotten pretty out of control back in my hometown, because every familiar face i had small talk with was sure to include “watch out for deer, especially at night. i saw 17 today already.” so you can imagine my posture and expression as i drove past 3 cornfields on the way back from the movies sunday night.

saturday i spent the day at the beach with my mom and then made dinner with her when we got home. then, the girls and i went to a small house party for some drinks. sunday i went to the beach with one of my best friends, kelly, all day and then went out to dinner and saw SEX AND THE CITY! sunday was my favorite day. we had so much fun together. yesterday i went to the beach again, then had to drive back to new britain to meet my boyfriend home in time from his return from Canada.

this is the first trip back home that i was actually glad to be there the entire time, and was even a little sad to be leaving. i’ve established a new life, my own life, for myself up here in new britain and i love everything about it. but i think i just miss how simple things are back home and how it all represents a time before life became different…expensive, grown up. while i was there this weekend i just wanted to wrap my arms around the whole town and give it a huge hug. for a long time i have refused to refer to my hometown as simply just “home” because i don’t live there anymore and keep in touch with only a few friends who still do. but spending the weekend there, at the beaches i’ve been going to all my life and driving down familiar pothole-infested backroads, i realized it still is my home because there is a piece of my heart there. and afterall, “Home is where the Heart is.”

its there with my best friend and some family. it’s in norwich with my mom. it’s in newport, RI with my aunt. it’s in new london with kelly. it’s in florida with my grandparents. it’s here, in new britain, with my boyfriend and college life. and its soon to be in my new apartment that i’ll be moving into august 1st!

know any good books?

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 14:45:40 -0400

the only time i have to read for fun is during summer break. unfortunately i’m not one of those college kids who has such a large brain they can fit both scholastic text and leisurely text in the same place all at once. school has only been out for a little more than 2 weeks and i’ve already read one book. because i have a serious problem.

i bought a book tuesday morning at around 11 a.m., and i finished it this morning at around the same time. 36 chapters! gone! now what hell am i gonna do? i’m currently living at my boyfriends while the apartment-hunt continues and he works monday-friday days and i work monday-friday nights. so that leaves me to find things to do myself, by myself, and trying not to spend a lot of money (like shopping out of boredom, or eating out of boredom, or driving around aimlessly.)

and the worst part is, the book was $25. i wish i could exchange it or return it or something? but that’s what happens when i read a book i really like. just call me Speed-Reader.

time capsule

Wed, 28 May 2008 23:19:14 -0400

i had been using my dads new wife’s laptop for almost a year and a half when he asked for it back last week. he got layed off from his job and had been using a company laptop but they asked for it back when he got the boot. so, since he was taking back my adopted laptop, i had to return to the one i got as a graduation gift my senior year of high school. i had stopped using it because the monitor just went dim and then completely black one day while i was working on a paper (seriously). i called dell to see how much it would cost me for them to replace my monitor and they told me it would cost NOTHING! apparently i was still covered by some warranty.

i’m not gonna lie, i had gotten used to the beautiful gateway laptop and wasn’t thrilled about getting reaquainted with my used DELL Inspiron 600m. i was pretty positive i had left it with a few thousand viruses and way too many programs that i had accidently downloaded. but after the dell guy came today and fixed my baby up, i was surprisingly happy to see the horrible picture of me and my friend from 2 years ago on the desktop! i had forgotten about all the old pictures and old songs and old papers from my last summer after highschool and first year of college. i knew they were old, i just didnt realize how BAD they all were.

the pictures? wow, lauren. you really let yourself go for a brief moment. not to mention some pictures of an old boyfriend who was horrible to me.

the songs? i’m ashamed of my itunes library from 2 years ago. there are a few songs i can’t believe i had forgotten about, but for the most part its all garbage. and filled with songs that reminded me of that same shitty boyfriend.

its weird to actually see how much i have changed in the past 3 years. it’s like time & technology stopped in my little dell laptop, but so much had been going on while it was hibernating. i’m not sad anymore about using my old laptop. i was sick of using one that wasn’t mine and was probably being held against me, and plus i just deleted all the bad songs, pictures, and old papers so it’s like its brand new : )

still kickin'

Tue, 27 May 2008 16:08:59 -0400

hello whoever! (whomever? whatever)

just letting you know that i’m not dead. i have no computer right now and have been busy working and waiting to move into my new place. i’ll write more when i can.

enjoy the sun!

pseudo-serving: part 2

Sat, 17 May 2008 12:09:00 -0400

dear ruby tuesday customer,

i don’t suck at my job. i know for a fact that i am very attentive to your needs. i make a point at getting you refills before you even get the chance to stop chomping on our disgustingly, fat-filled “always fresh” burgers. i smile when i speak to you and laugh at your lame jokes. you say: ‘more napkins’, i bring you way more than you need. you say: ‘this food is cold’, i say ‘our cooks are mexican’. you say: ‘jump!’ i do so with my all-black ruby tuesday attire and black apron that is way too big for me on.

leaving me a $2.42 tip on a $45.00 bill is not ok.

especially when you aren’t black.

with love,

Lauren

you know how it goes...

Thu, 15 May 2008 19:46:01 -0400

you always want what you can’t have…and once you get it, you don’t want it anymore. so why is there such thing as being tempted?

The Name Certainly Fits

Thu, 15 May 2008 13:59:00 -0400

lolliblog:

            I never liked soap operas. Not only is the acting terrible, I find myself in a state of constant anxiety, waiting for the actors to mess up. Also, since I don’t know any of the plot lines or characters and the stories are years (sometimes decades) old, I figure that even if I wanted to start watching one, that ship has long since sailed.

            I was looking for The Weather Channel earlier today when I stumbled upon a soap opera. I don’t know which one it was but I can tell you it had an actress with long red hair. She was talking to an actor who looked like Alec Baldwin and sounded like Joe Pesci. His character’s name was Angelo.
Redhead: What have you heard, Angelo? My father wouldn’t hurt Patch, would he?
Angelo: (Looking nervous) Not as far as I know.

Redhead: Are you sure? I know he thinks it’s all Patch’s fault. You would tell me if you knew anything, right?

Angelo: (Pause) Sure.(Longer pause, as he looks furtively about) Sure I would.

Redhead: I knew I could count on you. Want to grab something to eat?

            Whoa! This was something a child raised by wolves could follow. I had only been watching for forty-five seconds, but I could tell you for certain that Angelo is lying, Patch is in big trouble, and the redhead suffers from both an inability to read people and a pathetically limited attention span. Cut to the next scene, in a dark alley. A shadowy figure hides behind a barrel, aiming a rifle. The music builds ominously as a man saunters in. Slowly, the man turns to face the camera.

            He wears a patch over his left eye.

            Off-camera, we hear the redhead scream: “Patch!”

            In this moment, I realized I was not giving feral children nearly enough credit.

it’s like jake’s mom writes everything i’ve ever thought or something